When “Healthy” Isn’t | Psychology Today

In a culture that worships health, it can be challenging to recognize when habits intended to help us start harming.

Everywhere you look, whether on social media, in podcasts, or even at your workplace, someone is promoting their latest “wellness” routine. It might be a sugar detox, a gut reset, or a 30-day fitness challenge. It all sounds empowering. However, beneath this modern health movement lies a troubling message: If you’re not constantly optimizing your body, you’re failing.

When Wellness Becomes a Disguise for Control

We no longer call it dieting. We refer to it as “clean eating,” “being intentional,” or “cutting out inflammatory foods.” We track steps, calories, macros, and sleep cycles. We post green juices and gym selfies and call it self-care.

But many of these so-called health behaviors are rooted in fear, guilt, and shame. For people at risk of developing eating disorders or those already struggling, this culture of “health” can become the perfect camouflage for disordered behavior.

It’s now possible to be deeply unwell while receiving praise for your “discipline.”

Disordered Behaviors That Get Applauded

Eating disorders aren’t always visible. They don’t always look like skipping meals or being severely underweight. Sometimes, they look like:

• Obsessively reading labels and avoiding “processed” foods
• Exercising through pain or exhaustion because “rest feels lazy”
• Feeling anxious or ashamed after eating something “unplanned”
• Turning down social events due to food fears or fear of missing workouts
• Believing your value increases as your body size decreases

These behaviors are often reinforced by influencers, wellness brands, and even healthcare providers who equate thinness and restriction with health and well-being.

Who Gets Left Behind

Wellness culture is steeped in privilege. It’s often marketed to white, thin, non-disabled people with time and money to spare. This narrow view not only excludes the majority of bodies, but it pathologizes those that don’t fit the mold.

People in larger bodies, for example, may be praised for the same restrictive behaviors that would sound alarm bells in someone who is thin. Eating disorders in marginalized communities are frequently missed or misdiagnosed.

And despite what the culture tells us, you can’t tell how healthy someone is by looking at them.

What to Do Instead

If you’re noticing that your pursuit of health is starting to feel rigid, obsessive, or exhausting, you’re not alone. Here are a few gentle ways to reconnect with your body—and yourself:

1. Question who benefits. Is the wellness advice you’re following being sold to you as a product or “lifestyle”? Does it increase your anxiety or your freedom?
2. Experiment with flexibility. Try eating without rules. Move in ways that bring you joy instead of guilt. Notice what changes in your mood and energy.
3. Unplug from shame-based motivation. You don’t have to earn rest or burn off food. Your body is not a problem to solve.
4. Diversify your feed. Follow people who talk about intuitive eating, body acceptance, and mental health. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel less-than.
5. Reach out. If food, exercise, or body image are dominating your life, support is available. You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve help.

The Takeaway

We’ve been taught that being “healthy” means controlling our bodies. But true health—mental, physical, and emotional—comes from feeling connected, nourished, and enough.

Let’s stop mistaking obsession for wellness.

Let’s stop applauding harm as discipline.

Let’s build a version of health that makes room for everyone.